GST exclusion list

excerpt from the straits times, december 13, 2006:

WHEN the goods and services tax (GST) goes up, Singaporean families need not worry about having to pay more for their children's school fees.

They will also not have to pay more for TV and radio licences, or parking at HDB carparks.

......

The list of frozen fees, however, will not include charges that are not set by the Government; for instance, service and conservancy charges and public transport fares.

The reason: service and conservancy fees are decided by town councils while bus and train fares have to be approved by the Public Transport Council.

the underlining is me ownself put one. can read the free version full report is here though it dont have the what-is-and-what-is-not-on-the list. so me cut and paste it here:

What's on the list
For a typical family, the frozen fee list includes*:

• HDB carpark charges
• School fees for primary and secondary schools, Millennia Institute, junior colleges and the Institute of Technical Education
• Radio/TV licences
• Registration fees for passports, birth certificates and driving licences
• Fees to use tennis courts and other recreational facilities run by the Sports Council.
• Marriage registration fees

What's not
Excluded from the list are**:

• Foreign maid levy
• Public transport fares
• Polyclinic fees
• Water and electricity charges
• Telecoms charges
• Vehicle and road taxes

* Both lists are not exhaustive.
** This does not mean the fees and charges will rise.

hmm ah beng me dia bor giu (hokkien: catch no ball i.e. dont understand) le...

1. HDB carpark charges set by HDB tiobor? which is a statutory board. radio/TV licenses set by MDA ya? also stat board. vechicle registration and road taxes set by LTA tiobor? ma si stat board mah. how come kena excluded le?
2. "service and conservancy fees are decided by town councils" so is not considered gahmen. but then hor, town council websites are listed in gahmen directory wo. and wikipedia also say "town councils are the administrative branch of the government in a constituency". err... unless wikipedia boi zun, or ah bengz's angmoh boi siu, that means town councils are part of gahmen tiobor? so is gahmen right? then like that got contradictions with the news report le. then how?
   

dont tell me the gahmen also works in mysterious ways?

peekture of the moment - 09 dec 2006

wah lau ay!! today saw the Dark Knight's upgraded batmobile on PIE!!!

size does matter

beng beng is back liaoz

me yesterday came back. midnite flight, landed in singapore around 5.30 am. dad and mom very nice, went airport to pick me.

me basically slept the whole morning away. then spent the rest of the day unpacking.

got a bad news: home PC cannot boot up. somemore got the burning smell coming from the box. dunno wat happened... sigh...

beng beng ai ke holilay liaoz!

mai gar ler gong ke tor lor, muahahahaha!! (dont tell you go where, muahahahaha!!)

december then come back. mai mai miss me ok.

how rich are you?

Global Rich List ranks your annual income against that of the total world population and see where you stand. according to the website, me is the...

ZUN BOR?!!!!!

anyway go see where you stand la. here is how they calculate it.

world distribution of money

essential life skills

that day i saw my sis's old home economics text book - wah Wikipedia actually got an entry for this, impressive sia! - and i thought wat they learnt then were actually still quite relevant now.

for those who dunno, during my time, first 2 years of secondary school education, the gals learnt home econs while the guys learnt technical, which comprised of woodwork (make small wooden items like paper tray, stationery holder, scimitar etc.) and metalwork (make small items like shovel, jack knife, shuriken etc.). but now hor, my technical skills all neber use, all return to 'cher liaoz...

apart from home econs, there are many things school neber teach but actually quite useful in our life one. so here's ah bengz's list of essential life skills in no particular order of importance...

• cooking - beyond maggie mee and friend egg with sausages
  
• home improvement - plumbing, install wall sockets, change lightbulb, etc.
• home IT - pc troubleshooting, basic IT security, productivity software, Internet
  
• first aid/cpr - for those life threatening moments...
• highway code - teach people that their father don't own the road; dun anyhow use
• firefighting - the real kind and the head will roll kind
• personal finance - budgeting, managing cashflow/expenditure/discount coupons/air miles etc., 4D/Toto/Big Sweep/mahjong, loans & mortgages, financial planning, investment, how not to be conned by insurance agents
  
• consumer negotiation - bargaining/bitching
• social skills - dining, drinking, grooming, dating, flirting, pickup strategies networking etc.

ok thats all for now. anymore to add on?

peekture of the moment - 08 nov 2006

new species of the genus Corvus just discovered today in singapore... a stark contrast to the predominantly black feathers found on other birds in the same family, it spotted a body of blue...

corvus toyotus

poor man's WoW

found this mmorpg called Sherwood Dungeon while digging. ma jiam World of Warcraft like dat but no need to install one, just run in your Web-browser can liao. its actually a shockwave game la, so need to install the shockwave plugin. best of all, its FREE!! heheh...

but obviously foc stuff cannot compare with paid stuff la. but mai hiam its playable la. heehee... ok da, gotta go save my character before he kena KO'ed by the 8-legged freak!

sing-song condom

durex got the vibrating condom, now got people invented the sing-song condom. not just protect your brother from virii and unwanted bb's, now it also can play the miugik when you piak piak!! apparently the 'music volume depends on intensity of love-making and tone varies based on the sexual position'!!

beri interesting, must share with buddies so i msn'ed quakster the link and...

quakster: yea... hahaha.. can u imagine ?
bengz: yaya. esp if u put in the music from those coin-slot kiddie rides. lol
quakster: hahahahah
quakster: "she'll be coming around the mountain when she comes"
bengz: LUP (laugh until peng or fall down)

he sibeh geh gianz went on to compile the top 10 condom miugik chart for the... err... 'rubbertones'.

wonder when will they also introduce mp3 rubbertones, i think that's when the real fun begins! imagine...

initial_phase.mp3: 'yee-ah! yee-ah! yamateh!! yee-ah...!!'
feeling_good.mp3 : 'kimochi...'
finale.mp3: 'YEE-AHHHH...!!'

muahahaha!!

my new gal - wilhelmina

first time saw her was at carrefour, of all the places in singapore. she was in a sleek black long dress, tall, bright eyes, looking totally sophisticated and confident. it was love at first sight!

i admired her from a distance for a while, fixated on her, yet not daring to approach her... my balls must have dropped onto the floor and rolled to hide beneath one of the many shelves... i told myself that if she is the one, then i better find them back and do something! fast!

finally, i managed to muster barely enough courage and walked up to her. she was totally enchanting at close distance. she probably noticed me approaching and turned around to face me. her eyes looked into me seemingly asking me, "what took you so long..."

i melted...

after the intial awkwardness, we were able to communicate pretty well. she was friendly and fun to be with. i was totally smitten with her. but good times were short and soon i had to leave. we made a date to meet up again before we finally parted ways...

i met her again over the weekend and before long, i took her home...

see her here.

sexual consent

saw this video while digg'ing today. go see!

the page also advised hor... "Responsible adults should always use sexual consent forms." wah piangs, wanna piak piak also have to fill form. heng the form not beri long, else fill finish that time, brother also go sleep oredi! hahaha...

but good also la. like dat no dispute, dont wait do liao not happy, then cry rape! heehee...

... just kiddin'.

we live in singapura

hossan leong's sibeh geh gian history of Singapore posted by autowoofz.

you can also view the video from here. another version, this one got the lyrics one from here. enjoy!

sillified car names

sometimes, some car brand/model names can sound so damn funny in other languages...
celica - silly car
lancer - 滥车 (lousy car)
proton - potong (malay: cut/circumcise)
proton saga - 笨蛋傻瓜 (idiot)
suzuki - su chut kee (lose [money])
volkswagen - kok kalen (my hokkien speaking mother say one)

how about these...
audi - au tee (lousy metal)
mazda - must tar (dar - dry; usually used in the context of drinking, meaning bottoms up)
opel - orh pur (black/dark skin)
subaru - 睡马路 (sleep on road side)
volvo - bo bo [shooter] (army time the ones who always shoot and miss target that one)

anymore to add? send as comments to me le.

Update on July 04, 2006: more sillified names!!
cefiro - sei fei lou (cantonese: 死肥佬)
(honda) odyssey - hor ler si (you die!!)
corolla - kor lak la (hokkien: pants drop)
kia - gia (hokkien: scared)
(kia) rio - lio (hokkien: urine!!)
maserati - muscle rusty
toyota - tio yio tar (hokkien: must shake dry)

Updated on September 20, 2006:
mercedes - 骂死你 (scold you until die)

Updated on January 16, 2007:
camry - kiam lui (owe money)

condom-on!!

got probrem putting on lubber isit? mai gan jeong, condom-on to the rescuse! scientifically designed using NASA technology ok. dun pray pray eh... somemore got the aero-dynamic one ok! dun say i hao siao hor, go see yourself la!

link: http://www.condom-on.com/
disclaimer: i not promoting the product ok. and anybody use liao then injured one, also not my probrem.

my cubicle: a you're beautiful parody

beri the funni... listen to it here. lyrics as follows:

My Cubicle
By: Morning Sidekick
Parody on You’re Beautiful by James Blunt

My job is stupid my day’s a bore,
Inside this office from eight to four
Nothin’ ever happens my life is pretty bland,
Pretending that I’m working, pray I don’t get canned.

My Cubicle, My cubicle
It’s One of Sixty two
It’s my small space in a crowded place
Just a six-by-six board booth
And I hate it that’s the truth

When I give a sigh as the boss walks by,
no one ever talks to me or looks me in the eye.
And I really should work but instead I just sit here and surf the Internet.

In My Cubicle, My cubicle
It doesn’t have a view.
It’s my small space in a crowded place
I sit in side there too.
And sometimes I sit here nude.

beri belated post: silent nation

in support of ah brown...

you can also view the video from here. silent nation is a production of Born on Nine of August and Cloudywind.

hooked on rocket mania

damn that lmc!! got me hooked onto that Rocket Mania game from popcap.com. now i keep seeing rotating fuse lines and launching rockes in my head... arrrgghhh... may she be cursed blessed to be the Supreme Dragon Emporer (empress??) and beyond!!

last nite, she was ranked, Master of Pyrotechnist. last nite me was just a lowly Disciple of the Lotus but now...

muahahahaha!!! am i good or what? dont dont try the game ah. dont say i never warn you...

knnbccb!!! ah beng chia tio scratched!!! F**K!

KNNBCCB!!! morning going work that time see my swee chia tio defaced!!! doesnt look like some jealous people purposely scratch it one though, more like dunno which blur f**k bak chiu gor sai (paste shit on eyes) open door never see, anyhow. CCB!! like to gor sai so much might as well jiak sai (eat shit) la!!

ok ok, gao liao gao liao, enough outburst of naked expletives oredi... so how har, should i or should i not go fix it? any good workshops to recommend bor??

peekture of the moment - 27 june 2006

dai ee dog (大耳 dog)

last nite went lim jiu (drink alcohol) with colleague then this morning niah niah, lmc send out e-大字報 to chase money. wah sibeh efficient manz, that gal... last time hor, the 大耳隆 (aka dai ee long or loanshark) liked to 挂豬頭 (hang pig head) to 'encourage' the debtors to pay money. but office mah, must civilise a bit, use her dai ee dog instead. haha!!

o$p$ - learn this from some professional dai ee long one. stands for owe money pay money. dunno who they are la just so happen that got 1 neighbor keeps getting this written all over the corridor la, lift la, his house door la at my block. nowadays they also cut cost isit, write less so use less ink. haha...

i see cars smiling at me?!!

alamak! yesterday go see Cars - not the ah beng chia kind la, i mean the movie - then when i go to my ah beng chia in the carpark that time hor, wah lau ay... see those cars there and i thought can see eyes and lips on them manz! can almost see them smiling and talking!! wah lau... can see on my car also!!! scary manz... heehee...

go watch, go watch.

peektures from the almost-one-month-wear-green tour

finally got my fingers working to push mouse and post my peektures from my oversea ict. dun worry la, not gonna post those uncle-with-belly-still-act-macho sexy-hunk-in-jungle-fatigue kinda peektures. for those, go see army ads, they should have alot.

bird eggs

camp buddy spotted this nest with 3 little eggs on one of the trees inside camp. very small niah niah. dunno wat kind of bird la, about sparrow size but got green feature one.

by the time we leave camp to go rnr, the eggs already hatched liaoz. cant really tell from the peekture hor? nor... that brown color ball-like thingy in the nest lor. mah jiam alien head like that, haha!

arhh... not relatives of the birdies above la dun worry. just a nite market stall selling fried quail eggs la. but wah lau ay, the sunny side up sibeh kawaii le!!

4 days 3 nites under the stars cemetery stay, ai mai?

the signboard to the columbarium where we spent a few days and nites at. this kind of kang tao where to find?? heehee... actually didnt stay in the columbarium la. we were just outside the main gate of the building. at nite hor, the caretaker goes home he got lock the gate mah. somemore the place got security camera and motion detector one ok. dont pray pray eh.

got one nite dunno why the security alarm went off. then later got one security guard drove up and came to look see somemore. wahlau ay... columbarium also need so tight security meh??

the caretaker hor he very nice one, day time can go inside to siam the sun. and somemore let us use his kettle to boil water cook instant noodle. got 1 time even drove some of us to town to buy dinner. heehee...

kooning there no problem one ok. got the tua pek gong lookalike god to protect you. me dunno he is simi god la. me only know of tua pek gong niah niah so... anyway no fish, shrimp also can la... por bi por bi... heehee!

and then hor, morning you wake up, can see this lor, whole hill of graves!! that patch in the distance is actually pineapples. the caretaker told us the native pineapples very nice. err... thank you har!

those sticks in front hor... are not fishing rods ok!

reservists' guide to getting rid of pesky flies

Step 1: take a piece of sticky paper and put on the ground. go to koon, leaving the sticky paper there for 1/2 to 24 hours. for better result, take sticky paper and chase after flies.

Step 2: take sticky paper and pose for the camera. make sure the trapped flies smile also!

Step 3: burn sticky paper for warmth. the nite can be quite cold you know!!

other interesting peektures

lelong lelong! lilliputian size jeans! buy 1 big get 10 small free! heeheee...

wah they also got sell liulian (durian) there siah, me is very the surprised le!! somemore they are bigger than the D24 we have in s'pore but me din try, so dunno nice or not. hmm... but at least i now know, liulian dont grow in polyfoam box one. jus kiddin' la...

heh... if only nike ads are also so tasty!

this is a taxi ad, very blur because the cab moving mah... here here, let me try to make out what it said har...

火車站前
8樓麗晶酒店
xx 超低價制服辣妹
300 xx xx 650
[cant make out the line in yellow]
[next line also...]

well, you get the idea...